Personal Space in a Relationship

How many of you heard the 'I need some space' line lately? Especially now that we are stuck in the house with each other, this might become an issue even in the healthiest relationships.

It is important to have space in your relationship simply because you are an individual. You have an identity outside of your relationship. If you are married or you're in a long term relationship it is important to remember to focus on yourself, on doing something that you like and in case you don't know what that is, discover it! A healthy relationship can only exist if we constantly work on ourselves because we cannot pour from empty cups.

Because all kind of challenges appeared on social media lately, here is mine: this week spend some time alone (a few hours) and do something that you like, something that you wouldn't do with your significant other. Then talk about what you did, how it made you feel, what you liked about this time and what you didn't like.

At the beginning of our relationship, I was a little 'needy' for no apparent reason. But instead of getting annoyed, Paul wanted to talk about it. We realised that it was something from my past and had nothing to do with our relationship. If you have the same issue, communicate openly about it and remember to be intentional with your behaviour. Don’t punish your present if someone mistreated you in the past.

When I asked Paul why he thinks we need space in relationships, he said that being alone was great to explore your thoughts and feelings without no one interrupting you, to keep in touch with yourself. He also mentioned that this need might be stronger for people without siblings or for introverted people who recharge their batteries when they are alone.

So, make sure you always step in each other's shoes and remember that everyone is different. A good practice is to talk in the morning about what you want to do that day. Maybe one of you wants to work on something for 4 hours, while the other expects a movie marathon, cuddles and pizza. Although it's okay to compromise, make sure you communicate efficiently about your expectations.

In the end, I just want to encourage you to take advantage of this time. After you had your time, get together and enjoy each other! This quarantine can be a great opportunity to learn more about each other, to take time and talk, to cook together or to do anything that will make you fall in love all over again!